Leaning on the Universe when coping with hard times
Getting through tough times in life is hard no matter what way you slice it. Regardless of how resilient you are, when everything is falling apart, you might feel desperate enough to try anything that promises temporary relief.
Each person has their own trigger
We all have our own hell that corresponds to our life experiences. My personal hell is a break-up because it triggers the most wounded part of me. Regardless of the health of the relationship, a breakup always feels like death. It makes complete sense given that social rejection activates the same brain circuit as physical pain. Add attachment trauma to the mix and you'll have perfect conditions for the near-death experience.
If you have trauma around money or survival, you might get sent into a spiral by, say, losing a job. We don't respond to similar situations in the same way because of our history. Your job is to learn to validate your experiences no matter how irrational they may seem to people around you.
Validate your unique experience
Validation is the most important part of the equation: without it, you will struggle to move through the crisis. Waiting for external validation can slow down your progress because there won't be too many people able to see things the way you do.
Understanding why certain situations affect you more is crucial for rebuilding a relationship with Self. Recognising triggers can help make sense of big emotions and overwhelming feelings. Journaling and talking therapy (with a psychologist or a trusted friend) can be a powerful tool for getting clear on why you feel the way you do.
How do you actually survive a crisis or the 'out-there' stuff you can do to support yourself
How do you know if you are in a near-death, grasping-for-air kinda crisis? When it feels like you're literally dying, every hour is filled with the excruciating pain of unknown nature. Because the experience is so intense, you become open to things that you wouldn't normally consider.
Turn to other people for support
We are social creatures and we are not supposed to do life alone: we are meant to grieve, share joy, and heal within a community. Letting your friends know that you need extra support can make you feel more secure. Just knowing you can call a friend out of the blue and stay on the phone for a few hours can be comforting.
Staying in touch with friends and family can be very healing. It's worth scheduling a quick catch-up even if it will take your mind off things for an hour.
Changing your mindset
There are dozens of practices that can help you feel better, even if temporarily, but the most important one is changing your mindset. You can look at hardship as bad luck or you can look at it as a human experience. If you believe that things just happen to you, there is very little you can change. If you believe you chose to experience this, it puts you back in the driver's seat.
I survived depression many times, including the time when I had no access to mental health services. The only thing that got me through it was curiosity. I suspect that as 'souls' or infinite beings we don't experience pain beyond this limited time in a body. I was so curious about the immensity of pain and suffering that I stayed alive just so I can feel it. Deep inside I knew that it won't last forever (although it didn't feel that way at the time), and I wanted to know and remember what pain feels like. Living through severe depression equipped me with the compassion, knowledge, and strength I use today when supporting people on their recovery journey.
Amulets
While people who believe that crystals can cure cancer make me laugh, I would wear or carry anything that promises any kind of relief from the excruciating pain. One day, a friend of mine brought me a gift from an Indigenous healer she visited: a clear quartz wrapped in hand-painted clay. It was meant to absorb negative energy and everything that no longer serves you. I used it every time I felt fear by pressing it against my chest.
Regardless of whether or not you believe in the power of amulets, rituals are moments in time when you acknowledge the pain and suffering and create space for them.
Nature
When you feel alone and without meaning, turn to Nature for the communion that is absent from your life. Aboriginal Peoples of Australia have a strong connection to the country (or the land they were born on). In an interview, one of the Elders talked about that connection, explaining that you can't possibly feel lonely when trees, bushes, rocks, animals, and rivers are your family too.
Spending time in nature, try to see yourself as a part of nature, a part that belongs.
Books about manifesting
Western people don't just come to spiritual practices, they are forced into circumstances that leave them no other choice. Most books on manifestation are written by people who survived adversity, addiction, or trauma. Therefore, a book about Universe and its power is a story about someone's healing journey. Reading those books can make you feel seen, hopeful, and less lonely.
Meditation
Mindfulness meditation is a process of observing your experience with no judgement. Most of our time, we spend rejecting pain and avoiding suffering. Staying with painful experiences allows you to feel them, process them, and let them go. It's very hard to let go of something you refuse to acknowledge.
Journaling
While spending all day around people who can validate and comfort you can be unrealistic, you can still do that for yourself. Journaling is an excellent tool that allows you to talk to yourself and express your thoughts and feelings freely, unafraid of being judged and rejected.
Exercise and somatic movement
Trauma is stored in the body and it helps to release it through movement. This can be as simple as going for a long walk or going down the path of exploring somatic movement classes and healing practices.
Conclusion
There is no shame in trying new things to get through a crisis. The only people who'd laugh at your attempts to make yourself feel better are those who never experienced such an intensity of pain. Find ways to connect to those who appreciate what you are going through and allow yourself to be led by heart and intuition.
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